Connecting can be easy with some people and difficult with others.  Have you ever wondered why Jesus was so good at connecting and relating to others?  One primary reason throughout the Gospels is simply, “He cared”.

Caring affects our motivation to reach out to others or just be receptive to others’ attempts to connect.  How do we maintain such a caring attitude like Jesus did on earth?

In the Gospels, we find Jesus receiving help and support from His Father and others.  One reason why Jesus was able to connect and care with others is, He willingly received what He needed from others.  While receiving with one hand, Jesus gave with the other hand.

Growing relationships are mutual in nature, both giving and receiving.  In ministry, mutual relationships are difficulty because of the focus of ministry is generally “giving”.  Plus the attitude of ministry is generally 24/7, so our focus may not be on our needs or seeking to get our needs met.

As simple as taking a shower or eating breakfast in the morning can make a good start to our day, reaching out to receive support, a friendly voice or a hug can be enough fuel to fire up our desire to care for others.

What fuels your attitude to care?

Is it time to “throw another log on the fire”?

How often in times of stress or worry have you said, I’ve got to pray harder? What does praying harder look like?  More intense until sweating drops of blood?  Louder, longer, with more feeling? Jesus agonized in prayer, but he taught others to pray without drama:Make your prayers simple. Ask your Father with faith, humility, and persistence. Seek, ask, knock, i.e. pursue your requests as though you have a father who knows your every need and willing provides every need.

For me, praying harder means trusting more, realizing it depends less on me and more on my Father.  Trust without ceasing. Set aside anxiety after making my request. I’m struggling to shift my agony in prayer to agonizing over faith in the Faithful One and to sweat over letting go, to let him control, to accept whatever outcome he chooses.

Mark Reed

Author of Rehearsing for Heaven

Solomon, speaking about foolish living wrote:  At the end of your life you wil groan, when your flesh and body are spent.  You will say, “How I hated discipline!  How my heart spurned correction!” Proverbs 5:11 & 12

These are tough words to read and hear from a man of wisdom.  Yet, Solomon speaks to the core of our heart of need to remember His purposes for practicing spiritual disciplines.  Here are some reminders:

One purpose for practicing spiritual disciplines is to bring a deeper dependence upon our Father.  For example, moving from an inner chaos towards renewal and power through God’s Spirit.  Developing relationships based upon God’s righteousness and grace.  Seeking God’s goodness to happen in others and our self in the midst of turmoil and loss.

A second purpose of practicing spiritual disciplines is to become more God-centered.  In ministry, serving can be both giving attention to others while being the center of attention.  While we preach, lead, teach or e-mail, we expect others to pay attention to us. Sometimes we treat God the same way.

A third purpose is as a part of worshipping God, our creator and sovereign Lord.  In ministry, it’s easy to become frustrated or stressed, at times uncertain of God’s plan, provision and timing.  God still expects us to submit and trust.  Worship becomes the expression and evidence of submission to Him who sits on heaven’s mercy seat.

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32-33

Jamie woke up thinking about who came to the Bible study last night and why others stayed home.  Mark e-mailed staff members this morning about turning in their attendance and expense reports for the elders’ meeting.  Monday morning, Jan looked over her tight schedule wondering when she was going to have time set up for Sunday services.

Your job description, ministry responsibilities and expectations often cause you pressure.  As you have grown, you have found ministry is primarily about God’s work within you and others; less about your efforts.  So relying on God’s internal work relieves some of the pressure, but you still need to get the work done.

In John Townsend’s latest book, Beyond Boundaries:  Learning to Trust Again in Relationships, he identifies two types of boundaries that empowers us to be free of unnecessary pressure.  First, “defining boundaries” identify who you are as a person, which allows you put aside false identities.  Then, “protective boundaries” keep you safe in unsafe situations, especially when unfair expectations are placed upon you.  How do these boundaries apply to you in ministry?

Now consider the following questions to deflate unnecessary pressure:

What pressure do I put on myself to succeed in ministry?

What boundaries do I avoid or cross in order to be successful in ministry?

What pressure can I lay down in order to focus on the primary calling from Jesus?

Handling stress in ministry is often typical, yet challenging. Developing the ability to be resilient while under stress often becomes the key to preventing burnout.

Social science research has found one’s “social support” and “supportive relationships” to be a significant factor in coping with stress. In fact, research (Burkinshaw 2004) found leaders’ resiliency to stress was dependent upon their social support; defined as “the ability to rely on others to aid them with stressful situations”. In fact, emotional, supportive relationships were found more important than taking care of one’s physical health.

Do you think the writer of Ecclesiastes said:  “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Rate (1-10 scale) your ability to rely on others to aid you with stressful situations.

If you rated yourself as an “8″ or above, you do a good job relying on others. If a “7″ or below, ask yourself, “What gets in my way of relying on others?” How could you reliance on others be different?

Contact gary@ministrycare.org for questions or comments.

Many professionals describe burnout as a “state of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress”.  Serving in ministry at times, we may feel overwhelmed and unable to meet constant demands, though do these feelings mean we are “burning out” or “burned out”?

Feeling blamed or pointed out as the reason for a problem is often awkward and uncomfortable. Yet accountability and taking responsibility are important values in any relationship.  Blame often brings discomfort and taking responsibility can threaten our security, though both are necessary in personal growth. How do we balance feeling blamed and taking responsibility in our life and ministry?

First, listening to the problem is a key.  Facing the problem that exists can be quite painful, yet most important even when we may hear about the problem second hand.  Hiding or avoiding the problem generally causes more problems, internally and externally.

Second, seeking grace and strength from God (patience) to handle the stress and discomfort brings about a supernatural ability to cope with the problem.  Seeking peace about the issue gives an ability to think clearly and sort out the problem, heading towards a solution.

Third, responding in love, rather than reacting as the target of blame is another key; though easier said than done.  Taking responsibility does not come natural, more supernatural.  Kindness is God’s ability in us creating a Christ-like acceptance and response to a problem, whether the problem is our responsibility or not.

So accept your part of the problem and speak the truth in love about what is not your part.

What can you do today when problems arise?  How can you respond to feeling “blamed”?

Unsettled?

Eyes searching, feet moving, heart wanting more?  Do you ever feel this way?  Sometimes out of boredom, discontent or downright hunger we’re moved to search for more, something to fill the void or just different.

When we sense these unsettled signals, it’s time to respond.  Our eyes and heart wants to wonder, look into other fields.

What can help?  Here are several ideas:

1. Consider God’s mercy to understand our needy heart and wondering thoughts.
2. When feeling discontent, dig down into your heart with the Lord to find the cause, feeling and need.
3. Get it out.  Talk about these feelings and thoughts with someone who understands.
4. If you’re a visual person, draw out your thoughts, connect the dots to what’s missing or what’s leading you to wonder.
5. Let go, throw it down before God, the unsettled, discontent and/or boredom.
6. Pick up God’s mercy and truth, to fill your heart and mind to then reflect His goodness and glory.

We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with every-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18.

Comment about a time when you felt restless.

Creeping along the freeway in drizzling rain, I felt frustrated and wondered what was causing the jam? An accident? Construction? The sky brightened a bit and drew my attention upward to a double rainbow. Was that what everyone was slowing down to see?

What is hope if it goes unnoticed? If a great hope waits in the forest and no one is there to seize it, is it still hope? Tragedy blinds us to hope. Day-to-day stress and life’s obstacles smother the light of hope. A smack in the face from reality squelches the call of hope. So we need to see hope, and then seize it with everything we’ve got.

Hope transforms us day-by-day. While grief and pain and skepticism rage around us, hope thrives in those who hold to it. Sometimes we need a reminder to see it, to hear it. We need a jarring that lifts our gaze from the mud to the rainbow. Because hope works in us now, to change us now, to give us life now.

Hope is not wishing for the rain to pass. It’s dancing in the rain until the rainbow shows up.

Contributing Author,

Mark Reed

Author of Rehearsing for Heaven

I have a friend who has no problem accomplishing absolutely nothing for several days in a row. This blog is not for him or people like him. It’s for me and people like me-I feel guilty when I’m not doing something profitable.  I struggle with that work/play balance.  I multi-task relax time with work time to relieve the guilt.

Last weekend my son and I took a long road trip.  While he drove, I worked on a notepad, and while I drove, he worked on his laptop.  We talked some, but we both had a hard time just sitting there and enjoying the scenery and the presence of each other.

Nothing wrong with the multi-tasking since it helps get things done-except if it interferes with the recoup time I need. I know I need downtime, playtime, and renewal. I find it hard to fit into my schedule. So I started scheduling it-put it on my calendar.  And when I finish the relaxing time, I check it off as a task completed. When downtime becomes a scheduled task for me, it’s permission for me to relax.

“Work hard. Play hard. Live happy.”

Mark Reed

Author of Rehearsing for Heaven

See Mark’s Heaven blog at http://www.hopeworthy.com/blog