There are many opinions about New Year’s resolutions, many saying they don’t work.  Do any resolutions work?

G. K. Chesterton’s quote is the best by far.   

How often in times of stress or worry have you said, I’ve got to pray harder? What does praying harder look like?  More intense until sweating drops of blood?  Louder, longer, with more feeling? Jesus agonized in prayer, but he taught others to pray without drama:Make your prayers simple. Ask your Father with faith, humility, and persistence. Seek, ask, knock, i.e. pursue your requests as though you have a father who knows your every need and willing provides every need.

For me, praying harder means trusting more, realizing it depends less on me and more on my Father.  Trust without ceasing. Set aside anxiety after making my request. I’m struggling to shift my agony in prayer to agonizing over faith in the Faithful One and to sweat over letting go, to let him control, to accept whatever outcome he chooses.

Mark Reed

Author of Rehearsing for Heaven

Solomon, speaking about foolish living wrote:  At the end of your life you wil groan, when your flesh and body are spent.  You will say, “How I hated discipline!  How my heart spurned correction!” Proverbs 5:11 & 12

These are tough words to read and hear from a man of wisdom.  Yet, Solomon speaks to the core of our heart of need to remember His purposes for practicing spiritual disciplines.  Here are some reminders:

One purpose for practicing spiritual disciplines is to bring a deeper dependence upon our Father.  For example, moving from an inner chaos towards renewal and power through God’s Spirit.  Developing relationships based upon God’s righteousness and grace.  Seeking God’s goodness to happen in others and our self in the midst of turmoil and loss.

A second purpose of practicing spiritual disciplines is to become more God-centered.  In ministry, serving can be both giving attention to others while being the center of attention.  While we preach, lead, teach or e-mail, we expect others to pay attention to us. Sometimes we treat God the same way.

A third purpose is as a part of worshipping God, our creator and sovereign Lord.  In ministry, it’s easy to become frustrated or stressed, at times uncertain of God’s plan, provision and timing.  God still expects us to submit and trust.  Worship becomes the expression and evidence of submission to Him who sits on heaven’s mercy seat.

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32-33

Jamie woke up thinking about who came to the Bible study last night and why others stayed home.  Mark e-mailed staff members this morning about turning in their attendance and expense reports for the elders’ meeting.  Monday morning, Jan looked over her tight schedule wondering when she was going to have time set up for Sunday services.

Your job description, ministry responsibilities and expectations often cause you pressure.  As you have grown, you have found ministry is primarily about God’s work within you and others; less about your efforts.  So relying on God’s internal work relieves some of the pressure, but you still need to get the work done.

In John Townsend’s latest book, Beyond Boundaries:  Learning to Trust Again in Relationships, he identifies two types of boundaries that empowers us to be free of unnecessary pressure.  First, “defining boundaries” identify who you are as a person, which allows you put aside false identities.  Then, “protective boundaries” keep you safe in unsafe situations, especially when unfair expectations are placed upon you.  How do these boundaries apply to you in ministry?

Now consider the following questions to deflate unnecessary pressure:

What pressure do I put on myself to succeed in ministry?

What boundaries do I avoid or cross in order to be successful in ministry?

What pressure can I lay down in order to focus on the primary calling from Jesus?

Feeling blamed or pointed out as the reason for a problem is often awkward and uncomfortable. Yet accountability and taking responsibility are important values in any relationship.  Blame often brings discomfort and taking responsibility can threaten our security, though both are necessary in personal growth. How do we balance feeling blamed and taking responsibility in our life and ministry?

First, listening to the problem is a key.  Facing the problem that exists can be quite painful, yet most important even when we may hear about the problem second hand.  Hiding or avoiding the problem generally causes more problems, internally and externally.

Second, seeking grace and strength from God (patience) to handle the stress and discomfort brings about a supernatural ability to cope with the problem.  Seeking peace about the issue gives an ability to think clearly and sort out the problem, heading towards a solution.

Third, responding in love, rather than reacting as the target of blame is another key; though easier said than done.  Taking responsibility does not come natural, more supernatural.  Kindness is God’s ability in us creating a Christ-like acceptance and response to a problem, whether the problem is our responsibility or not.

So accept your part of the problem and speak the truth in love about what is not your part.

What can you do today when problems arise?  How can you respond to feeling “blamed”?

Unsettled?

Eyes searching, feet moving, heart wanting more?  Do you ever feel this way?  Sometimes out of boredom, discontent or downright hunger we’re moved to search for more, something to fill the void or just different.

When we sense these unsettled signals, it’s time to respond.  Our eyes and heart wants to wonder, look into other fields.

What can help?  Here are several ideas:

1. Consider God’s mercy to understand our needy heart and wondering thoughts.
2. When feeling discontent, dig down into your heart with the Lord to find the cause, feeling and need.
3. Get it out.  Talk about these feelings and thoughts with someone who understands.
4. If you’re a visual person, draw out your thoughts, connect the dots to what’s missing or what’s leading you to wonder.
5. Let go, throw it down before God, the unsettled, discontent and/or boredom.
6. Pick up God’s mercy and truth, to fill your heart and mind to then reflect His goodness and glory.

We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with every-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18.

Comment about a time when you felt restless.

While speaking with pastors in Nicaragua about “self-care” this month, I was asked to preach to a church body who meets in an open air community center that has a vinyl tent covering for a roof.  Only problem with the facility, the tent roof has many holes in it, including several big ones.  These holes and the inch of water on the floor did not seem to be a problem for the people.
The worship band was rockin (in spite of electrocution) and there I preached standing in water and the rain.

God reminded me while preaching, these people came to worship and hear “the Word”.  Even in the midst of feeling distracted, uncomfortable and wet, worship existed in its purest form.  God was present and His Word was preached, even when the preacher wasn’t so focused.

How comfortable do we need to be when we worship? We know comfort or discomfort is not necessary to worship God, only Him glorified.  Similar to spiritual disciplines, the feeling of discomfort can distract our worship and focus on spiritual things.  God being glorified through our worship becomes our goal, not how comfortable or uncomfortable we are.

How does your focus on feeling comfortable or uncomfortable affect your worship?

This is a guest post from Scott Couchenour. Scott is passionate about the health of ministers and leaders and has one simple mission, to make your mission less burnout. You can find more information at servingstrong.com where Scott provides useful content and dynamic coaching. Also follow Scott on twitter @servingstrong.

Park between the sign and the intersection and you risk receiving a ticket on your windshield. Pack your day so full you can’t possibly get it all done and you risk burnout.
Simple. The road sign provides margin for safe traffic.
Using time wisely provides margin for effective ministry leadership.

We all agree – it’s impossible to fit 9 pounds of anything in a 6-pound bag. Doesn’t matter how hard we try to stuff it all in. Why? Because we live in a finite world. Only so much time in our day. Only so much energy in our being. We need daily margin.
But how do we build margin into our daily routine?

From Hundreds… Place every task into ONE SINGLE LIST. The minute you have more than one place to look, your mind spends energy trying to keep up. This is energy you can’t afford to lose. Knowing it’s all in one place frees mindspace for being present in the moment. This goes for one single calendar as well.

…To A Few… Prayerfully prioritize. Ask for God’s wisdom as you scan your master list. Allow Him to lead you to the important few among the trivial many. Lift those key items out of your master list and place them on a weekly planner.

…To Three… Plan no more than 3 tasks per day. I know what you’re thinking, “Only three? You must have it made.“ But here’s the deal: when you put a dozen tasks on your list for the day (knowing full well you will never get it all done) you put your head on the pillow at night in a defeated mindset – not a good thing to sleep on.  The key benefit of 3 tasks is this: If you get all 3 completed, you can borrow from tomorrow’s 3. Then, at the end of the day you feel ahead of the game.

The truth about time is that interruptions will happen. It’s not a matter of “if”. It’s a matter of “how many”. A phone call, a bunch of email messages, a family’s crisis, a broken kitchen sink pipe… we never know what the day holds. Be realistic and learn to never “park too close to the intersection.”

Serious about building margin into your leadership? Here are some additional resources:

Margin (Dr. Richard Swenson)

The Big Rocks (Steven Covey)

10 Ways To Create Margin Time (Ron Edmondson)

James waits to get out of bed until the second snooze alarm sounds, his way of preparing to get out of bed.

Jason sees Tracy coming down the hall at church.  Jason jumps into the bathroom before Tracy sees him.  ”Whew”, Jason sighs, another close call.

For Gerry, paying personal bills twice a month is difficult.  After paying a late bill she asked herself, “Why do I wait so long to write the check and mail the envelope?”

Putting off, avoidance or even waiting are descriptions of resistance.  Commonly known as “procrastination”, resistance is generally an internal struggle, often a emotional and mental battle.  How do you fair with your internal resistance?

Anxious, worried and even fearful feelings about people and situations, often affect our thinking and behaviors.  In fact, these uncomfortable feelings generally cause us to make impulsive decisions about awkward situations.

What can be done to rescue yourself from resistance?  Here’s a few ideas:

1.  Remember a time when you were disappointed by giving into your emotional resistance.  How did your procrastination affect you?  Others?

2.  How do you want the next awkward situation to be different?  Write the specific difference down on paper.

3.  Write down what you are willing to do to make the situation different.

4.  What are you willing to give up to be different?

Here are some examples below:

Abby found herself remembering a time last week when she did not know what to do about a noise her car was making when driving down the highway.  She ignored it, hoped it would go away.  Later that week, her care made the same engine noise again causing her to worry about how she can not afford to pay a car repair.  Today, she decided to schedule an appointment with an auto repair shop cause she does not want to pay for tow truck costs if her car breaks down.  Abby had to give up her anxious feelings, face the uncomfortable call to the auto repair shop and take time off of work to get her car fixed.

Ryan arrived too late to visit Mr. Jones at the hospital, since he was discharged about an hour before Ryan came to visit.  Ryan thought visiting Mr. Jones before he went home for the day would be a good idea, though not this time.  Ryan felt disappointed, missing an opportunity to see Mr. Jones at the hospital though a little relieved, since making hospital visits is not easy due to difficulties finding the right room and the smell is pretty bad.  On his way home, Ryan felt convicted of the importance of caring for people who are sick, as Jesus did.  He considered making hospital visits a priority in his schedule by putting a note in his calendar the morning of his hospital visits.  Ryan realized, giving an hour or two to visit hospitalized, church members may require him to come into the office a little earlier that day.

Sounds simple?  What’s holding you back?

Uncertain times and uncertain future often causes stress on pastors and ministry leaders.  With the economic downturn, church members feeling stressed by increased demands at work and new budget cutbacks at church are often stressful.

Leaders voice their concerns in private and sometimes in their office.  Here’s what some are saying:

“I feel like I am walking on pins and needles around some of our staff.”

“How can I plan an event this year when half of my 2010 events were not well attended or attendees were jut unenthusiastic.”

“Sometimes I begin to spiral downward when I think about our decrease in attendance and offerings.”

A feeling of uncertainty, in most people, causes an uncomfortable, emotional disturbance that leads us to react both frustrated and/or anxious at times.  While reading this post you may not feel the stress or pressure, though consider a tense moment with someone you experienced at church last month or a criticism by someone that is hard to let go.  What about a moment of reflection you had driving home from church office that left you worked?  If you have felt this way towards the end of 2010, you may still have residual stressful tension in 2011.

Ministry leaders often find success when they are able to adjust to both low and high tides.  Life is uncertain and church members, like sheep are fickle and wanting life to happen on their own terms.  Making ministry adjustments are critical to riding out the church ocean tide.  We all know about adjustments in ministry, though what about emotional and mental health adjustments?

For those who want to move beyond wishful thinking to what can I do to be different this year, here are just a few responses from veteran ministry leaders who are surviving the emotional and mental low tides.

“I find refreshing myself with God’s Word for confidence and a pointed Scripture stuck on my computer monitor as a reminder to put life into the right perspective”.

“Realizing I am not alone is big for me.  That’s why I have been calling friends in the ministry to help me get a positive perspective on 2011.”

“When I come back from time off or a holiday break, I feel fresh and motivated to handle more of the difficult challenges.  That’s when I schedule one a day and then find support from my spouse.”

“While in the midst of tense meetings or challenging e-mails, I ask God for help to listen, not react.  I find a few deep breaths, saying my responses in my head before saying them out loud is critical for me.  Then I can choose what is a helpful way to respond.”

What’s your response to handling low tides?  What do you plan to do to have a positive outlook for 2011?